Who sings the song in that Payless commercial?

Search: i am a paleontologist payless

Why: I know a Future Paleontologist of America who might just need that to be her official theme song.

Answer: They Might Be Giants!!! YEEESSSS!!! (and it says "w/ Danny Weinkauf," who is always in the band anyway... so I don't know).

This is one of the only bands anyone at my camp ever listened to in 1995-7. (The other one was REM.)

Oh my god, do you guys remember Dial-a-Song?

Lyrics go like:

I love diggin' in the dirt
With just a pick and brush
Finding fossils is my aim
So I'm never in a rush
'Cause the treasures that I seek
Are rare and ancient things
Like Velociraptor's jaw
Or Archaeopteryx's wings

Now all the kids
Who wanna see 'em
Are lining up
At our museum

I am a paleontologist
That's who I am

Could it be an herbivore
Crushing plants with rounded teeth
Or ferocious carnivore
Who moves so quickly on its feet
It's like pieces of a puzzle
That I love to try and solve
It's so fun to think about
How a species has evolved

Is it a T-rex? (I keep digging, digging, digging, digging)
Maybe a Triceratops? (digging)
Or a Carnotaur? (digging)
Pachycephalosaurus?

Source: YouTube

The More You Know: Speaking of sequins, sometimes I think about how there were actual flying dinosaurs, like dinosaurs who could fucking FLY, and they were huge and wanted to - and could - gobble you up in a single snap o' the jaw. Can you imagine that today? Look out your window right now and imagine a dinosaur flying around.

(Oatmeal)

BUT it turns out that the fearsome pterodactyl was not a dinosaur at all, just a regular ol' "prehistoric winged lizard." Boring!

Pterosaurs are sometimes referred to in the popular media as dinosaurs, but this is incorrect. The term "dinosaur" is properly restricted to a certain group of reptiles with a unique upright stance (superorder Dinosauria, which includes birds), and therefore excludes the pterosaurs, as well as the various groups of extinct marine reptiles, such as ichthyosaurs, plesiosaurs, and mosasaurs.

Oh, it's also not called a pterodactyl - it's a pterosaur. At least 60 genera of pterosaurs have been found to date, ranging from the size of a small bird to wingspans in excess of 10 meters (33 ft).

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What does "Mischief Managed" mean?

Search: mischief managed

Why: On Fuck Yeah Tattoos, during Harry Potter week:

This is my “Mischief Managed” tattoo. Obviously I am a Harry Potter nerd. I wanted something unique (or at least somewhat unique) in a sea of HP geek tattoos.

Etc.

I read all the books and saw all the movies, but I don't remember that. It's been a long time.

Answer: It's how you clear the Marauder's Map!

The map is normally disguised as a blank piece of parchment. To view the map, one must tap it with one's wand and recite, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The content of the map will reveal itself.

To hide the contents of the map so the parchment appears blank again, one must again tap it and recite, "Mischief managed."

Source: MischiefManaged.com, Wikipedia, Harry Potter Wikia

The More You Know: F, I need to read all these again. I didn't even remember that the Marauders were Remus (Moony), Peter (Wormtail), Sirius (Padfoot), and James (Prongs).

"Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers
are proud to present
THE MARAUDER'S MAP"

I didn't even remember that Prongs was a name! Uch, I have a lot of work ahead of me.

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I want to see the tan lines from a Danielle Scutt swimsuit

Search: danielle scutt tan lines

Why: On Oddee, "12 Craziest Swimsuits":

Zigzag swimsuit where the tan lines will reveal the designer. (Danielle Scutt)

Wut.

Answer: Lol:

Source: The Wolf Web

The More You Know: Katrina has this ka-razy swimmy from that list, but she doesn't pose like this when she wears it (at least not around me).

I mostly wear these these days.

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What's the origin of the word "chicanery"?

Search: chicanery

Why: In The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (which I finally finished on the way to work this morning):

As long as he was relatively discreet and did not get involved in any financial chicanery, his future would be assured.

I want to pronounce that word like "Chicano," but the Englishman who narrated my audiobook said it a different (correct) way.

Answer: That's just the word! Maybe originally from Middle Low German shickken, "to arrange, bring about." Then 15c. M. Fr. chicaner, "to pettifog, quibble," and c. 1600 Fr. chicanerie, "trickery."

Pettifog!

1560s, from petty; the second element possibly from obs. Du. focker, from Flem. focken "to cheat," or from cognate M.E. fugger, from Fugger the renowned family of merchants and financiers of 15c.-16c. Augsburg. In German, Flemish and Dutch, the name became a word for "monopolist, rich man, usurer."

A 'petty Fugger' would mean one who on a small scale practices the dishonourable devices for gain popularly attributed to great financiers; it seems possible that the phrase 'petty fogger of the law,' applied in this sense to some notorious person, may have caught the popular fancy. [O.E.D. first edition, in a rare burst of pure speculation]

However, cf. pettifactor "legal agent who undertakes small cases" (1580s), which, though attested slightly later, may be the source of this.

Omg.

Source: EtymOnline

The More You Know: But chicano is different.

1947 (n.), from Mex. Sp. dialectal pronunciation of Mexicano, "Mexican," with loss of initial unaccented syllable. Said to have been in use among Mexican-Americans from c.1911. Probably influenced by Sp. chico, "boy," also used as a nickname.

According the Wikipedia, Mexicans used to use this word to mean "poorest of the poor," but during the Civil Rights movement they used the word to unite themselves.

I'm not really sure if I'm allowed to use it.

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Who was Chuck Taylor?

Search: chuck taylor

Why: It kind of bugs me when people my age or older call Converse All Stars "Chucks." I had never heard the term "Chucks" before about 2005, but now, it seems like no one remembers the days of just plain ol' Converse. Erin, if you would:

Anyway, I am wearing navy ones today because I have a blister on the back of my heel.

Answer: He was a basketball player! He was born Charles Hollis Taylor in Brown County, IN, in 1901. He played his first professional game in March 1919 while still a high school student.

In the early-1920s, Taylor played for the Akron Firestone Non-Skids "industrial league" team. This team were charter members of the National Basketball League in 1937. They folded during WWII, but in 1949, the NBL merged with the Basketball Association of America to form the NBA.

Meanwhile, the Converse Rubber Shoe Company was founded by Marquis Mills Converse in 1908 to manufacture winterized rubber-soled footwear for men, women, and children. By 1910, Converse was producing 4,000 shoes daily, but it was not until 1915 that the company began making athletic shoes for tennis. The company's main turning point came in 1917 when the Converse All-Star basketball shoe was introduced. Then in 1921, Chuck Taylor walked into Converse complaining of sore feet. Converse gave him a job as a salesman and ambassador, promoting the shoes around the United States.

By the mid-20s, Taylor played and managed a group of cagers who played for the traveling Converse All-Stars barnstorming team. The team hosted basketball clinics in high school and college gyms across the country. Taylor "almost single-handedly taught Americans the fundamentals of basketball," making his name into a brand. In 1932, his signature was added to the Converse All-Star.

During WWII, he worked as a physical fitness instructor and coach for the Army and Navy. In 1944-45, he trained the Wright Field Air Tecs in a Navy pre-flight program at Marquette University. (* this is wrong - see comment from expert below)

He was also popular for his All-American picks. He only selected players he had personally seen play, many from small rural colleges where big-city sportswriters never went. His picks always were highlighted in the popular Converse Basketball Yearbook.

Source: Chuck Taylor Biography (by Abraham Aamidor), Wikipedia

The More You Know: And who was Jack Purcell? Not the guy from "30 Rock" (that's Jack McBrayer / Kenneth Parcell). He was the 1933 world champion of badminton!

He designed a canvas and rubber badminton sneaker for B.F. Goodrich in 1935. In the 1970s, Converse purchased the trademark rights to Jack Purcell sneakers - which it still produces and sells today.

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What are Omega Fatty Acids supposed to do?

Search: omega fatty acids

Why: I went into Costco to get a lifetime supply of paper towels, and I came out with 180 of these.

Answer: Oh, lots. For example!:

• Build healthy cells!
• Boost the immune system!
  
• Maintain brain and nerve function!
• Lower the risk of heart disease! and stroke!
  
• Protect against type 2 diabetes! and Alzheimer's disease!
• Reduce symptoms of hypertension!, depression!, ADHD!, joint pain!, and some skin ailments!

High praise indeed! In fact, they are so important that they're called essential fatty acids. But here's the kicker! Our bodies can't produce them; we can only get them from food. So much for intelligent design.

Here's a secret: Saturated fats, which come mostly from animal sources, raise LDL, the form of cholesterol that clogs arteries. Unsaturated fats from vegetable oils, nuts, and fish can help lower cholesterol levels. To up your omegas and down your saturated fats, switch from butter to vegetable, olive, or canola oil. This is what the hell canola looks like, btw (it's genetically modified rapeseed, developed to resist herbicides):

Each canola seed is approximately 40% oil. According to this warrior:

Initially, the rapeseed plant was used to create oil for lubrication, particularly in World War II. After the war farmers were left to figure out what to do with their surplus. Rapeseed oil contains high levels of Erucic Acid which is toxic to humans, so scientists began to create, cross-breed, and use selective breeding to create a consumable oil. Originally called LEAR (low erucic acid rapeseed), someone thought about their brand image and changed it to Canola Oil. The name ‘canola’ was derived from ‘Canadian oil, low acid’ in 1978.

Source: WebMD (also this one)

The More You Know: Do you have any idea what cholesterol is? Me neither. Let's learn from KidsHealth:

Cholesterol is a type of fat found in your blood. Your liver makes cholesterol for your body, and you can get it from foods you eat.You need some cholesterol to help your brain, skin, and other organs grow and do their jobs in the body.

But eating too much of it is a bad idea, especially for people whose bodies already make too much cholesterol. It floats around in your blood and can get into the walls of the blood vessels and stay there. If you have too much cholesterol in your bloodstream, a lot can collect in the blood vessel walls, clog the blood vessels, and keep blood from moving freely the way it's supposed to. If the clogging gets worse over many years, it can cause damage to important body parts, like the heart (heart attack) and brain (stroke).

Two Types of Cholesterol

There are two main types of cholesterol: HDL and LDL. Most cholesterol is LDL (low-density lipoprotein) cholesterol. LDL cholesterol is more likely to clog blood vessels because it carries the cholesterol away from the liver into the bloodstream, where it can stick to the blood vessels. HDL (high-density lipoprotein) cholesterol, on the other hand, carries the cholesterol back to the liver where it is broken down.

Here's a way to remember the difference: the LDL cholesterol is the bad kind, so call it "lousy" cholesterol — "l" for lousy. The HDL is the good cholesterol, so remember it as "healthy" cholesterol — "h" for healthy.

I hope you wrote that down.

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What's a lede?

Search: bury the lede

Why: In "We Opened the Relationship, and It Epic-Failed" by MC Housework on xoJane:

I saw no reason to bury the lede with this post.

Answer: It's the "lead" of a story - just an alternate spelling!

Some American English writers use the spelling lede, from the archaic English, to avoid confusion with the printing press type formerly made from the metal lead or the related typographical term leading.

That's "ledding." And then:

Leading refers to the distance between the baselines of successive lines of type. The term originated in the days of hand-typesetting, when thin strips of lead were inserted into the formes to increase the vertical distance between lines of type.

Anyway, to "bury the lede" is to begin a story with details of secondary importance to the reader while postponing more essential points or facts. Boring. Sounds like somebody went to journalism school!

Ostriches don't really bury their heads in the sand. That's an urban legend. But:

If threatened while sitting on the nest, which is simply a cavity scooped in the earth, the hen presses her long neck flat along the ground, blending in with the background.

So where does the myth come from?

Ostriches swallow sand and pebbles to help grind up food in their stomachs. This means they have to bend down and briefly stick their heads in the earth to collect the pebbles. Bingo! Another false myth is born.

More animal myths dispelled here.

Source: Wiktionary, Wikipedia

The More You Know: Speaking of lead ("led"), it has kind of never been actually been used to make pencils. That's another urban legend. The ancient Romans used lead styluses to make light, but legible marks on papyrus. But by the 1500s, people had started wrapping graphite sticks in string because it left darker marks. Wood and graphite pencils came in the 1600s. Behold!

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What's the name of that disorder where you can't recognize faces?

Search: disorder can't tell faces apart

Why: Chandler basically just asked me if Jude Law and Andre the Giant were the same person. Like, based on their facial features. Racial!

Answer: Prosopagnosia! (from Greek: prosopon = "face," agnosia = "inabilty to recognise/identify familiar people or objects"

I am reading this guy Bill's personal site about his prosopagnosia. Here is what he has to say:

I was born with a condition that makes it difficult for me to recognize faces. There is a small part of the brain that is dedicated to that job, and though it is small, when it comes to recognizing faces, it is very very good. In me, that part doesn't work, making me blind to all but the most familiar of faces. To help you understand this, let me compare it to two conditions you are probably more familiar with.

People who are "tone deaf" are not deaf to tones. They can hear tones, they just can't tell them apart. People who are "color blind" can see things that are in color. They just can't tell colors apart. Similarly, I can see faces. I just can't tell them apart.

"Face blindness" is either associated with damage to the temporal lobe or it is congenital, in which case it actually runs in families. It also usually comes along with a bunch of other neurological conditions - not specific ones, just other ones. Bill says (eloquently; you should read this someday):

When I was a kid my dad would bring home geese he had shot, and we'd have to eat them with care because we never knew where the pellets would show up. Every goose would have them, though. And that's how it often is with neurological stuff. Each guy who gets blasted gets his own unique bundle of problems depending on where the pellets ended up. I got distorted hearing, an unusual walking gait, face blindness of course, and a few other minor things that really don't affect my life much.

A lot of face blind people have Asperger's (Bill doesn't), and many have "topographic agnosia," which is an inability to visualize geographical space - the literal inability to read a map.

When he was young in the 50s and 60s, he learned how to tell people apart by the jeans they wore every day and, later, how long their dirty hippie hair was. He tells a few anecdotes where he doesn't recognize a police woman directing traffic or a park ranger (he thought big hat = cowboy), though those sound like bigger issues than just not distinguishing facial features, right? I don't know.

Anyway, because of the a disproportionate number of people with face blindness are gay men with long hair (gay longhairs). Take that to trivia night!

Source: Wikipedia, Face Blind!, Neurophilosophy

The More You Know: "Tip of the tongue" phenomenon - failure to retrieve a word from memory - is called dysnomia when it is a learning disability present since childhood, but anomia when acquired by brain damage. I can never remember that. In French, it's called presque vu, "almost seen."

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What's the rest of the song "I love you, a bushel and a peck"?

Search: bushel and a peck

Why: This morning, (this might make you throw up; sorry) Chandler sang the first lines thusly:

I love you, a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck

And then he stopped. So I continued:

A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap, and I'm talkin in my sleep
About yooou

And he said, "There's more to that song? My mom only knew the first 2 lines."

And I think maybe my mom only knew the first 5 lines.

Answer: Oh my goodness, it's a whole song. My world just got upended. And it's from Guys and Dolls, which I've seen several times (on stage; it's not in the movie). It was written for Guys and Dolls in 1950, and a recording by Perry Como and Betty Hutton was on the charts for 18 weeks that year.

More recently, here's Jane Krakowski singing it / stripping:

Hoo! Lyrics go like:

My heart is leapin'!
I'm having trouble sleepin'!
'Cause I love you, a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do!
Doodle oodle oodle oo.

I love you, a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck, go and beats me all to heck!
Beats me all to heck how I'll ever tend the farm
Ever tend the farm when I want to keep my
Arms - about you

The cows and chickens
are goin' to the dickens!
'Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck I do

Source: All Musicals,

The More You Know: Look how darling Google is:

A bushel is a unit of dry volume = 8 dry / "corn" gallons. A peck is 2 dry gallons, 8 dry quarts, or 16 dry pints.

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How can you tell a leopard from a cheetah?

Search: leopard cheetah

Why: I showed Katrina this picture,

and then this happened:

And then this happened:

And then this happened.

Anyway.

Answer: Their spots are way different!

The Quick Trick: It’s all in the spots. Cheetahs have simple black spots, while leopards have a more complex pattern.

They both live in sub-Saharan Africa. Points of note:

Cheetahs

• Have solid black round / oval spots
• Have black "tear lines" that run from their eyes to their mouths to keep sunlight out of their eyes
• Are smaller lankier than other big cats (and are not in the genus Panthera, like lions, tigers, leopards, and jaguars)
• Hunt during the day
• Rely on bursts of speed
• Move their same-sided legs together (both left, then both right)
• Purr when they inhale
• Can't roar

Leopards

• Have black and brown clustery spots called "rosettes" that simulate moving shadows
• Have spots on their faces
  
• Are gigantic
  
• Rely on "surprise attacks"
• Drag their prey up trees so they can eat at their leisure
• Move their legs in diagonal pairs (front left-back right, front right-back left)
• Only purr when exhaling
• Roar
  

But which has cuter kittens?

(Cheetahs.)

Source: Mental Floss

The More You Know: But what about jaguars! They live in South America.

Jaguars

• Have fewer larger rosettes with black spots in the middle
• Have rounder heads and shorter limbs than leopards
• Are the strongest of all the big cats
• Bite directly through the skulls of their prey
• Are goddamn enormous
  

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What's a dagga boy?

Search: dagga; dagga boy

Why: Bob has been sending me journal posts about his hunting trip to Zimbabwe, and he keeps saying things like:

We were back on the tracks of four dagga boys early on the sixth day of our safari.

I don't know what that is, but it sounds racist.

Answer: They are old Cape buffalo who have been kicked out of the herd!

They call these Buffalo "Dagga Boys" - they are large old bulls that have been kicked out of the herd and spend all day wallowing in Mud. Dagga means "mud" in Zulu. They have really short tempers - best to stay away. The mud is to get rid of parasites.

I see this:

The younger males not only bred with the cows, but easily defended the herd against predators, so their presence was vital to the group. The Dagga Boys were basically useless and the old bulls seemed to know it.

That's sad. The name "dagga boy" was coined by South African outfitter and hunter Gerhard Vos. If you want to see some pictures of him with dead animals, click here and here.

Source: This guy's site, Po's Peek

The More You Know: "Dagga" is also slang for pot in South Africa. And also, a South African psychoactive plant, Leonotis leonurus, is commonly known as "wild dagga" (or "lion's tail"). You can smoke it:

It is sometimes used as a Cannabis substitute by recreational users looking to evade current laws on cannabis and other psychoactive plants. Leonotis leonorus is not currently scheduled under federal law in the United States. The smoke is reported to have an unpleasant taste and to be an irritant to the lungs and throat.

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What are pieces of eight?

Search: pieces of eight

Why: Yesterday, so utterly hungover from 2 consecutive 6-in-the-morning bedtime "nights" and barely able to breathe or speak (let alone stand up [let alone actually walk]), I did that thing where I brought a regular bedroom pillow into the living room, hid under a blanket, and watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End because I had never seen it and also because, with commercials, it has a 3.5-hour running time. There's a whole deal with "pieces of eight," and also, there's a store outside the exit of the ride called Pieces of Eight.

Answer: They're old Spanish money! Silver coins were "Reales" and gold coins were "Escudos." The "Pieces of Eight" were the largest silver coins (1 oz.) worth 8 reales. I don't know why it was 8; maybe they didn't use the base 10 system.

These coins were also used in the American Colonies. Rather than calling them "pieces of eight," people usually just referred to them as peso, Spanish dollars, or - in the English-speaking colonies - just dollars. They were legal tender in the US until 1857.

You've also heard of "doubloons." These were gold, not silver, because Doblón means, doy, "double." There is some debate about how much a doubloon was actually worth. The theory that makes the most sense is that these were worth 8 escudos. I mean, obviously. Or "doubloon" was just slang for all the gold coins.

They were melted, poured, and forged or stamped by hand:

If the events of the Pirates movies happened around the 1740s-50s, this is what the coins would have looked like:

Obverse
VTRAQVE VNUM M[EXICANUS] 1739
"Both (are) one, Mexico [City Mint], 1739"
Displays two hemispheres of a world map, crowned between the Pillars of Hercules adorned with the PLVS VLTR[A] motto.

Reverse
PHILIP[PUS] V D[EI] G[RATIA] HISPAN[IARUM] ET IND[IARUM] REX
"Philip V, by the Grace of God, King of the Spains and the Indies"
Displays the arms of Castile and León with Granada in base and an inescutcheon of Anjou.

And an 8!

Source: Pirate Money, Wikipedia

The More You Know: Orlando Bloom and Keikei Knightley are not in the new Pirates movie that you recently ignored. Did you know that? I didn't. The reason is because their story ends after the credits of Pirates 3, which frankly, I find a little rude. In case you missed it (and their whole long boring drama), feast your eyes. Feast them! This is "ten years later":

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I want to see a picture of Kalle Blomkvist

Search: calle blomkvist

Why: I am halfway through The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, and for the 23rd time, Lisbeth has referred to Mikael Blomkvist as "Kalle fucking Blomkvist." I understand this character to be some sort of friend of Pippi Longstocking, who I now know is Swedish. He seems to be a well-known kind of guy in Sweden - and Stieg Larsson seems to have been making some sort of huge joke about these names - but I've never heard of him.

Answer: Well, here are some versions:

I don't know which one he is. ^

Those movies ^ are from 1996 and 1997. Lisbeth was born in 1978, so she totes would have known about these films.

Source: Google Images

The More You Know: In these great United States, Kalle Blomkvist's name is Bill Bergson. He is the Swedish Veronica Mars, except younger and dumber and probably less hilarious. Adults ignore him!, so he solves murders and kidnappings and whatnot with the help of his ragtag gang of charming names: Anders, Eva-Lotta, Sixten, Jonte (Jonte!!), and Benka - but not Pippi. Author Astrid Lindgren wrote 3 books about him:

• Bill Bergson, Master Detective (1946) (original title: Mästerdetektiven Blomkvist)
• Bill Bergson Lives Dangerously (1951)
  
• Bill Bergson and the White Rose Rescue (1953)
  

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